Coming Out to Lil' Sis

June 28, I decided, was most appropriate for coming out to my younger sister. What with it being the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots and with Queer Pride marches being held in three major Indian cities and over the world.

Around 8:30 PM, I leaned back in my chair. I had just had momos and Diet Coke. I had taken off my watch, glasses and shoes. I hadn't taken off my binder because it somehow reminds me what I am. My wallet was taken out of my back pocket and thrown on the bed. I tried to relax.

At long last, I called her and spent half an hour making small talk with her, with Mom and with her back again. As I was about to blurt it out ["You probably already know..."] there was a disturbance at her end as the power went out and commotion ensued. Now, I had gotten this far to the point and I wasn't keen on hanging up because of a power cut. But Mom had entered her room and Dad was stumbling around looking for a flashlight so she pleaded me to call back later. I yielded, fuming.

She called me back instead, only about 5 minutes later as the power had come back on. After ensuring that her door was closed and she was alone in her room, we resumed our conversation. I chose a safe subject to initiate the topic: movies.

Me: Did you see that other movie I recommended, Imagine Me and You?

Lil' Sis: Not yet.

Me: Okay. Have you looked it up on the web?

Lil' Sis: Yes and I already know what it is about. I don't even need to watch it, you know, because I heard the whole thing when you were here and you saw it on the computer while I seemingly slept.

[This happened back in March when I was home on vacation and we had to share a room. The desktop is placed right beside her bed.]

I then asked her whether she knew what else I had been watching. She replied, "I'm not going to tell you." When I persisted:

Lil' Sis: Well, there's that show with that actress, Katherine Mongysomething.

Me: Katherine Moennig?

Lil' Sis: Yeah, that one. Shane. From that show.

Me: Are you going to utter the name of "that show" at all?

Lil' Sis: No.

Me: (enjoying myself) Oh, come on.

Lil' Sis: It's.. that.. L..

Me: "L" what?

Lil' Sis: (annoyed) Oh alright! The L Word! And I've looked it up on Wikipedia as well. There's Shane and Carmen and Leisha Hailey in it and... I know you downloaded its episodes when you were here.

Prompt came the confession.

Me: Well, you've most probably already guessed and it doesn't matter if you haven't because I trust you. I want you to know that -

Lil' Sis: (cutting me off) Wait... Are you like Ellen?

Me: Well, not exactly "like Ellen" but yes, I'm gay.

Lil' Sis: That's okay. I knew it. Ever since you were in 10th grade, I've known.

Me: How?

Lil' Sis: The way you are. You're different. And cool. And I'm alright with you being yourself.

That was it. I could die happy right then.

She asked me whether I was telling her this because "of all these marches happening today". I then explained to her the significance of June 28 as the anniversary of Stonewall riots. Our conversation seemed to go on for hours as we talked about all things queer. Movies, music and her thoughts about having a queer sibling. Her reply, "You're the coolest. Nobody else has a sister like mine." -- Exactly what I feel about her.

At one point, she said, "But I'm normal."
"Normal?", I reacted.
"No, no, I didn't mean it that way. I'm not like you. I mean I am..."
"Straight?"
"Never mind. Let me figure it out first, then I'll tell you."
I left it at that.

We talked about a lot more things queer and straight. I'll write about them later. I did ask her whether Mom and Dad had seen any coverage of Pride events. She wasn't sure but said that they had read the newspaper in any case. At that moment they were busy cooking dinner. Dad was multitasking: helping Mom with dinner, humming a song, talking and watching some cricket match that was on.

She asked me when I'll tell our parents. I replied that not before I get a job. After, maybe. I asked her not to tell them. I also talked about my alter ego on the Internet and requested her not to go looking for him. I trust her. She's not a nosey little git like the siblings those teens on those stupid Disney TV shows have. She respects my privacy a lot.

My Lil' Sis is a bright little gem, only 12, so understanding... and the coolest sister in the world. I just love her so much!

Big cheers and happy Pride, everyone! ^_^